What is your fee?

Check the Services/Fees page! As a working bride myself, I charge less than other officiants in the Boston area. That said, my fees are negotiable. I'm a sucker for people who work for social justice and have been known to take partial payment in chocolates.

Why is your fee so inexpensive compared to other officiants?

In business terms, this is social entrepreneurship. In divinity school terms, this is ministry. Helping low-income, queer, offbeat, and otherwise awesome humans make a public declaration of their love with the support of friends and family brings me joy.

Do you do weddings outside of Massachusetts? Does it cost extra?

Yes, I'm happy to travel pretty much anywhere to celebrate your wedding with you. But I'll need you to help me cover the cost, whether that's bus fare, gas for my sweet plug-in Subaru, or a plane ticket.

We want you to officiate our wedding! What's next?

The first thing I do is schedule an appointment to meet with all the partners, whether by phone call or in person. We'll talk about you, the wedding you want, and what you'd like from me. I'll ask you some questions and talk you through the answers -- like, what is marriage for, anyway? What do I really want to vow to this person? What do I love most about my spouse-to-be? These questions will help me craft your ceremony, and they also provide an opportunity to reflect on some things that get lost amid "What are your colors?" and "Plated or buffet?"

After that, I sketch out a ceremony. I'll check with you to make sure it's shaping up to what you've envisioned, and provide my input where it's helpful.

I usually encourage you to have a rehearsal, because in my experience it helps you feel a lot more relaxed at your wedding. I never go through the whole ceremony, just the outline. But I can help you feel comfortable getting where you need to be and making sure you breathe and don't lock your knees and all that good stuff.

Then, you get married! It'll be great.

Do you do bilingual services?

Yes! I write and speak French and Central American Spanish passably. I can sound my way through Greek, Hebrew, and Arabic. And if you'd like an element of your ceremony in some other language, I will try really, really hard to do it right.

Does it have to be religious?

Religion is in the eye of the beholder. We never have to mention any sort of deity; your wedding will nevertheless be sacred, because you are declaring love to another person. That said, if you want it to be religious, let's talk about what that means to you and your partner. If she's Christian and you're atheist, we can make that work. If he's Jewish and you're Muslim, I read both Hebrew and Arabic. If they're Wiccan -- well, I don't know much about that, because it's a mystery. But I'm always happy to learn.

Speaking of which, are you a real Reverend?

Yes, I'm an ordained Christian minister. (I mostly practice with the Disciples of Christ, American Baptists, and the United Church of Christ, in case you're wondering.)

What are your views on same-sex/LTBTQ+/queer marriage?

I love them. I'm for them. I have one!

I also work hard to make sure that my language and ritual respectful of people of all kinds of gender identities and expressions. That includes but is certainly not limited to using the name and pronouns by which you want to be called.

What about polyamory?

I am here to help people who want to offer loving commitment to one another — and if that’s more than one other, wonderful! Let’s work together on a celebration for all of you. I cannot legally marry more than two people anywhere in North America, but if you’d like to do a destination wedding in Bali or the Solomon Islands, let’s go!

How do you accommodate disabilities?

I work with disabilities the same way I work with every other dimension of human diversity: my goal is to give you a wedding that is physically, emotionally, and spiritually safe for you. There are ways I know how to do that (suggestions about sound systems for people with sensory concerns, or problem-solving for folks with anxiety, like myself, for example). There are ways I haven’t learned yet, but am eager to educate myself on and then think through with you.

A brief word about ethics

First, I humbly acknowledge that my home office sits on land historically held in care by Nipmuc and Agawam people. (I encourage you to find your venue on this map and include a land acknowledgement in your ceremony.)

Second, I believe in working with you to include your cultural heritage and practice in your ceremony. Including other people’s cultural heritage and practices becomes more ethically dicey. Outright cultural appropriation of rituals practiced by people under oppression is not something I will take part in. (For example, I’ve been asked to preside over a broom jumping ceremony by white people without firm roots in the shared heritage between enslaved Africans in the US and criminalized non-Christians in the British Isles. I will not. I will also not participate in a plantation-themed or located wedding.)

Do you stay for the reception?

You are not obligated in any way to invite me! If you’d like to, I will likely stay briefly for the cocktail hour (if you’re doing that) to toast your marriage, and then I’ll be on my way while you and your dear ones get the rest of the party started.